Pushing off the edge with faith I can spread my wings and they will take me anywhere is hard.  I often stand there for years gazing at the beauty I'd like to be in and tell myself it's not possible, better to be happy with gazing at it.  Yet, like watching travel and nature videos.  It doesn't fully convey the wonder.  While I've waited, afraid to let go of the security I delude myself I have, positions erode and crumble and storms change the places I stand. 

There's always the option of backing quietly down to the mundane and be satisfied with flat, endless monotonous landscape, to occupy my mind and actions with the plowing, planting, haresting, and repeating it over and over and over, and avoid sitting and staring at the horizons.  Yet, after slipping and sliding a time or two on the climb up, I might not get up to decision point again. 

I've taken some test flights which have worked out okay.  Once in a while, the fun fairy tickles my brain into scheduling something out of the ordinary for me.  If I respond quickly, make the reservation, schedule the activity and pay before Mrs. Sensible awakens, I find the wind carrying me to extraordinary experiences.  I come back to my observation perch refreshed to think about going farther.  And wait again for seemingly endless days, plan, and wonder if the wings will work again and how much farther I can go. 

I'm standing there now with a decision to be made, praying for the courage to push off again and believe in the abilities and power God has given me.  These times are particularly uncertain.  The winds are blowing, snow and ice are invading my space.  My lifespan is shrinking.  It's now or now or now.